Not so early bird

When I was younger there was an imaginary sack full of things that I planned to do when I got older. Every now and then I was watch a movie and see a young lady in her 20s reading a paper or doing yoga and I would slip that idea into my sack and think, “Someday, when I have a job and my own place… someday I’ll do that.” I think for the most part the sack consisted of things that I do now, but there are a few things in the sack that I haven’t been able to pull out completely. They are things that for some reason, even though all the right circumstances are in place, I can’t seem to get those things out of the sack. Time and time again I try, but they are too far to reach.

One of the things that is buried deep in the sack is waking up early. By early I mean early enough to spend a little time drinking coffee and not rushing out the door. At this point I would settle for waking up even an hour before I have to leave the house. For some reason there is something about my body that will absolutely never get out of bed 25 minutes before its time to go. It doesn’t matter if I have to leave at 5:30 or 9:00, I still won’t get out of bed unless it’s within 25 minutes of leaving time. This presents problems for me. I generally am rushing around, typically I forget something, and it leaves me stressed for the rest of the day. I know that I want to wake up early, and on the rare occasion that I do it makes me extremely happy and I love my day because of it, but these aren’t motivators that work. Is the problem the lack of a good motivator, or is it something else? I do know that it’s annoying when I don’t get up early enough, but for some reason I go ahead and do it again the next day.

I don’t really know at all how to fix this problem. I do know that there are plenty of things I’m doing that I’m happy about, and my little sack is almost empty, but this waking up thing and a few others just seem to be just out of reach. I wish I could say I was going to try or do an experiment and see if I could wake up early for a week or something like that but I know it won’t work. The attempt would fail. I guess for now just writing about it is enough. We’ll see where it goes from here.